Hope

I feel like I want to cry and I’m not really sure why. I’m not a big crier so I refuse to let myself, because there is absolutely no where I can go where no one will see me, and if they see me then I’ll have to explain, and I don’t know how.

I’m not homesick. I miss the people I love, but the U.S. not so much. It is technically Julie’s turn to write but I have a lot on my mind, and she isn’t done with her post so I figured I’d fill you in on the last few days..then she’ll backtrack to the weeks before.

I’ve had a constant battle with the shower since we’ve been here. In 23 days (wow it feels like we’ve been gone a lot longer than that!)  I’ve had exactly 2 completely hot showers and 3 bucket baths because either there was no power, or the water heater chose not to work when it was my turn. It doesn’t matter if I go first or last I always end up with either a cold shower, or a luke warm shower that turns freezing by the end. While this really doesn’t sound horrible, and it wouldn’t be so bad at home where the temperature outside is 100 degrees and we have indoor heating, and carpet. Here the temperature is usually around 50-55. I can’t get warm to begin with. Inside it is colder because there is no heating. The fire in the bedroom and the two blankets and my sweatshirt keep me warm enough at night. There’s a small space heater in the bathroom which takes a bit of the chill out of the air, but when you are cold to begin with, you take a cold shower, step out onto a cold cement floor (or wet bathmat because nothing ever dries fully here) and put on cold clothes (sometimes I warm them up in front of the space heater before I put them on) it really is quite miserable.  This morning was one of my completely hot showers. So hot in fact it almost burned my skin. Instead of feeling excited I feel guilty. I feel guilty because I know that downstairs the kids and staff take cold showers every day and have never had a hot one in their lives. They don’t have a space heater, or a bathmat, and by rural African standards the fact that they have a shower and running water is a huge improvement. I feel guilty because I know that the majority of the people on earth don’t have hot water, let alone running water and millions of people and children die every day because they don’t even have access to clean water to drink, let alone bathe in. At home we fill fountains and waterparks with millions of gallons of clean water for amusement (not that there is anything wrong with having fun) but it seems a little excessive as we drive down the road and see children with buckets getting water from the ditches on the side of the road, or the river, which is completely brown from mud or trash or both. And so I feel guilty for how spoiled I am. For the fact that at home I never give a second thought to the water I use and that if we’re slightly uncomfortable in any way we go buy something to fix the problem. Here uncomfortable is just a fact of life.

The second thing I have been thinking about is the Land Rover. Funny I know..girls typically don’t spend a ton of time obsessing over cars, especially not this girl. To us our cars are a means for transportation for work and all the fun things we do. Not this vehicle. Technically it’s Mike’s to travel for business but it has become so much more than that. Taxi, hauler of construction equipment, ambulance, and hearse. Whenever Mike goes anywhere there is someone waiting on the side of the road wanting to hitch a ride to somewhere. Whenever there’s an emergency and someone needs to go to the hospital they call Mike and the land rover becomes an ambulance. We used it for that purpose a few weeks ago when we rushed a girl who had collapsed at Cheese school to the hospital, but Julie will talk more about that. When someone dies in the community they call Mike to drive the body to the funeral home. How often do I use my car for unselfish reasons? Not very often.

Yesterday I saw something that made my stomach turn and I really almost threw up. If you are a guy and are uncomfortable with girl issues you may want to skip to the next paragraph. We were playing with the kids after they came home from school. They are always making some kind of toy out of trash they find, whether it be a ball or something else. No one ever really throws anything away because you never know when you might find a use for it. If you walk the road you find all kinds of stuff from empty cigarette packets, socks, pants, plastic containers and even used condoms. Unfortunately that doesn’t really shock me anymore. So I wasn’t really surprised to see one of the kids playing with some plastic thing they probably found on the ground. It grossed me out when she put it in her mouth and started chewing on it and that is when I realized what it was. I took a deep breath to keep from vomiting up the granola bar I ate for lunch. It was the plastic applicator part of a tampon. They don’t even sell tampons here so who really knows where it came from or how old it is. I told her to go throw it away, but of course she didn’t listen to me. Somehow I got over my repulsion enough to cover my hand with my jacket sleeve and take it from her and put it in the trash can. I wanted to wash her mouth out with soap or peroxide or something, neither of which I had. And then I wanted to burn my jacket, but then I would be even colder. The worst part is that she probably went and got it out of the trash after we left, or it will probably end up somewhere that some other kid will find it.

On top of all these thoughts running through my head are the things that happened yesterday. We walked the 3 ish miles to Cheese school to drop off over 600 pencils for the students. We didn’t stay long because we’ve found that we are really just a distraction to the kids when we sit and observe and they really don’t need any more obstacles to being successful. On the way home the men from the construction site followed us halfway down the incredibly muddy road. When they finally stopped following us they just watched us walk and navigate the slippery mud. I’ve tried to avoid the construction site as much as possible (I haven’t been very successful ) Every time we go somewhere (especially the site) the men ask Mike or Anne if they can marry me. When we walk to pick up the nursery kids in the afternoon there are a group of men who yell things at us in Kikuyu. I am glad I can’t understand what they are saying. The one thing in English they have managed to yell is “ Hey Baby!” so I can only imagine what they are saying in Kikuyu. While I suppose some girls would be flattered I’m not. It is really only because I am small. While it is definitely not something every man does,but I have been told it is culturally acceptable, and not uncommon for men to beat their wives. The only reason I’m attractive to them is because I’m small and therefore not intimidating. In their mind I’m not a threat and I wouldn’t fight back (at least that is what Anne told me) and that makes me sick.

So to say the least I wasn’t excited that we went to the sight several times yesterday. Mike had to talk with some of the workers because apparently in the middle of the night 10 men came and tried to steal the timber the men are using to build the rafters of the boys dorm. Thankfully the two night watchmen caught them and scared them off, but we spent a good portion of the afternoon hauling timber and other materials a few miles down the road to the barn. Unfortunately in Kenya you have 24 hours to report a crime or it can’t be prosecuted, if I understand what Mike told me correctly. The 24 hours had already passed but one of the cooks brothers is the county commissioner or something important like that so Mike at least has some help in that aspect. One of the men who was involved in trying to take the lumber is apparently one of the mason’s working on the boy’s dorm. It is sad that people are willing to steal from orphans because the dorm isn’t going to benefit anyone else but the kids who will live there.

All this is pretty heavy and depressing on my heart. Thankfully we have hope. Not necessarily that life with get better or improve here- even though we could do a lot more than we are to make that happen, but that in the end this is not our home. I don’t mean Africa..I mean earth. We weren’t meant to stay here.  “ God made him who had no sin  to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” 2 Corinthians 5:21 So we who are in Christ have hope because he died for us so that one day we can be reunited with him in Heaven. We have hope! “Therefore do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18. If you don’t have that hope I pray that one day you will find it. It is only found in the person of Jesus Christ, in believing him and trusting him with you whole life. I hope that my words and my life testify to that truth.

Again another long post..thanks for sticking with it if you read this far. I hope it blesses and encourages you.

Things to pray for:

1.        Mike is worried they will run out of money before they  finish the boy’s dorm. There are still kids who aren’t sponsored (its only $30 a month) And a second vehicle would be useful once the boys dorm is complete in case of emergencies. The dorms are approximately 4 miles apart, but on Kenyan roads that is pretty far in an emergency. Pray for the Lord’s provision in all of these areas. If you want to give you can send a check to

Mike Eden Ministries

36215 FM 1488

Hempstead TX 77445

*If you want to donate to the building fund specify that J

2.       Anne (the matron)  has malaria. Apparently for Africans it is just kind of normal. Many people have it and it is kind of like Mono- once you get it you have it for life and it just keeps reoccurring. Pray for her to get well so she can return to school and take care of her two kids.

3.       Several of the girls from Eden are competing in a drama festival this week in a town several hours away. They have already won at their district level and this is a larger competition. Pray for safety and the Lord’s favor. That he may use them to make His name known.

4.       Tomorrow ( Wed evening our time/Wed morning your time) I am” preaching”  for the second time at the fellowship meeting the kids have with the pastor and his wife every week. Pray that the Lord would use me to impact those kids. It is hard to talk to a group from 4-16 years!

5.       Friday morning (Thursday night for you) Julie and I will go to Nairobi to meet up with the team. We will have most of the day by ourselves in Nairobi and will probably have to take some taxi’s. Pray for safety and safe travels for the team.

 Much Love! –Jenny-